mothers pastor

so i’m going through my fb feed…and it shows your memories and i was reminded of this..

2 years ago my moms church was at a loss. in complete shock and awe. a man, their pastor, a husband, father of two young children killed himself.

it was quite a conundrum cos in the christian faith, you kill your self, your bound to hellfire. so i speak my words that he calmed his demons that were too overwhelming and such. blasphemy!!!!

but it was their pastor…can’t you give another thought to anything?  he was a pastor who was “closer to their God” i would assume. so why damn him to hell?

the church flourishes to this day, nobody crumbled and that pastor isn’t really mentioned anymore…kinda under the rug, kind of thing.  anything not to tarnish the already stained church walls. shame is all i have over that. i will throw in a tsk as well…

why is it so hard for people to hide and run from suicide or acknowledging it? why am i bothering to write this anyway?
it’s for myself…i’m really broken but not shattered yet. i need to know that people are awake and aware that suicide doesn’t discriminate. 

wake up folks, if you haven’t already 

later—-my mom texts me with her reaction, so i think it only fair to include:

Hi baby I as usual read the postings in your blog. Love to see the compassion you emanate on it. But sort of things I think i want you to know. The condemning to hell those who commit suicide is only in the Roman Catholic Religion. In order to commit a sin you have to do it with a 100% clarity of mind. Does a person in complete despair have clarity of mind I don’t think so. And that we have forgotten or don’t talk abt Robert is not true. He was a very very dear friend and pastor to us and we miss him like we miss those that have departed from our lives. We keep his mom around us all the time. We made sure she is ok, meet with her every Sunday and take turns taking her to what we refer to her as her son’s church. Even that Gus widow lives with her parents in Kentucky we talk all the time with her and we had the honor that last year Scarlett was baptized at our church with an entire congregations as sponsors in fact today is Gus widows birthday.

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